Follow feelings?

Ahlo, my readers, how are you?

It's a fine Saturday afternoon. I'm sitting in the dining room writing this post. Unexpectedly, a happy me is now having all sorts of feeling. I feel uneasy. 

Many things have been going on since the holidays started, I'm really busy. In fact, I have to be online everyday, I'm tired. Debate competition, closing ceremony and buying stuff for people are stressing me out, I don't get a proper rest mentally and physically. Dealing with people is almost killing my brain cells, EXHAUSTED. 

I'm reading a book THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING. I think I'm gonna finish it today. It's talking about the lives of teens of the USA. It does make my brain work. You may ask the reason of me saying this. Well, the book gives me a picture of how nowadays young people behave and how they look at relationships. Their behavior, I can see is quite random, really. They act how they want or feel. I can't see they think before they do anything, neither can I see the maturity in the people. They're just like children. Yea, I'm saying people who think they're mature are actually childish. 

Following the feeling is what most of us always do. For instance, many of us just wanna feel good and don't wanna do something that's eternal which is really worthy.We don't seem to have aims sometimes like playing games for the whole day or talking crap for the whole night with friends. I'm not trying to tell you that what I just mentioned are something that you can't do, but the fact is that what the point of you doing that. I can't see any good in doing this though.

Indeed, I'm studying something today, which is I call it - The humanity of feeling. Haha, it sounds weird, doesn't it? People always do what the feel not what God wants us to do. We tend to enjoy everything that is under the sun and try to forget the presence of God. Sadly, I think I'm in this group. I wanna get out I say to myself. 

The ignorance from people is really breaking heart, you know? People ignore just as they don't feel good or in bad mood. I can stand with it, honestly. I'm learning to love these people who actually do according to their feeling I think. Or maybe people ignore me just because of my attitude, I guess. Well, this leads me to the phone thing. I don't own a phone, it sounds like a scar of mine, doesn't it? However, I'd like to let the whole world know it, I wanna relieve from this thing which makes me so unreal and a liar, I feel like. Well, I wanna be true and have testimonies. 

Another thing that I wanna say is the way you treat people. I don't score an A for this which I'm supposed to. I feel like I shouldn't have written something for somebody who I think would probably ignore me. That's bad, huh? Yea, it's. But when I think, I really get the point of why people act this way. It's seemingly the humanity of human. They don't really think of the people who they ignore but themselves. I feel ignored indeed but I don't hate the people. I'm trying my best to love them as I know if I don't start to love them, they're not going to feel any loves.

Well, I had my fridge cut yesterday and now it looks horrible and terrible. I can't accept it although I seem to have accepted it. Okay, I don't think there'll be people looking at me. That's how I cheat myself, the truth is THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW WHO LOOKING AT YOU AND JUDGING YOU THROUGH YOUR APPEARANCE. Well, I'm making them sin, indirectly. Can I say this? Uh, sigh.

No matter how I look I'm just prefect as I'm. Thanks to my friend who motivates me to accept my really weird fridge. Uh, I don't actually look people at how they dress themselves but now I'm looking at myself that way. I don't think that's what I'd do as a child of God. What on earth makes me do this kind of stupid thing, I don't know. Go away, satan, I hate you forever and ever. 

I know people who truly love me will probably accept me no matter how I look. For example, my parents. I don't think they do think that Emily looks nice in her new hairstyle but they still tell me that I look nice. I wonder if they make comments without me knowing. Anyway, I'm fine. 

Tomorrow is Sunday and I got to know the news of me being in the committee group of the fellowship. Caring, I'm in-charged of that, I love it. God really knows what is good and suits me. 

Feelings, you steer it or it steers you? I have no idea for you but I'm pretty sure that I have to think logically before making any decisions. Indeed, I have to pray before thinking, of course that is the best way. Alright, I'd say bye to you. Stay tuned to my next post, I don't know what it'll be but I know you'll love it. 

Emily
09-11-2013