The true love

Hey, people. How do you feel today? Busy? Tired?

Well, I'm gonna start talking to you with my little biography of myself. Yea, I'm a person who has got a twin sister. Most of the people recognize me by this way, a girl who looks like another girl and is always with her. 

Oh kay... That's about twins. So, what's it gonna do with true love? I find myself really love her, thank God that I'm still patient with her and I don't keep any records of her wrongs. This proves that I truly love her, doesn't it? I work for her, I mean I help her, I do uncountable works for her and lots of jobs just for her. In fact, she can't live without me, and I can't live without her. Haha, there's no one can't live with anyone in this planet. Only no one can live without Jesus. 

Today, I really did a lot of things for her. Asking the owners of music shops for classes, calling music shops and also asking my friends for the details of ukulele lessons. I was kind of running here and there, just to know about all the details about the lesson, and yeap, it's all for her, Elisa, my sister. Unfortunately, something happened when I was doing these. 

The first shop we went today was the Wagner, it's a shop which they sell pianos and violins. I asked the woman whether they offered any ukulele classes or guitar classes. We spoke in Chinese and of course I didn't know what the Mandarin word for for ukulele was, so I described it as a 'small guitar'. Oh well, it's okay you may think, but it took me so hard to say something like this. Urgh... 

Fine, that's fine. I convinced my momma to take us to Yamaha music center. I can say it's quite scary. We entered the shop without my momma and I asked for the details of ukulele class (Again, for Elisa). They told me the information about the class and I think Elisa'd learn it here. However, she didn't seem to go this place. Okay, at this point, I've done my part as her twiny. 

The next thing is asking friends. This is really terrible. I asked 3 to 4 people and I think they got annoyed because of me, yeap me... I felt like an annoying person who kept asking people about the lesson thingy. Really, I sort of regretted doing this for Elisa, some of them seemed so annoyed because of me. I don't feel nice, either. I think they may ignore me next time. Never mind, I still have Elisa. Who tells me that she's my twin sister? 

At about 6pm, Elisa and I went to Fatty and Skinny Music. It was extremely terrible. I went up, I'm not saying that the place is horrible, but I wanna express my feeling, okay? If you wanna learn music, it's a good place for you:) Okay, so we went up and I saw some really artistic people there. I think they're really good at music. Therefore, I asked the same thing again which was about the ukulele lesson, JUST FOR ELISA. Indeed, one of my friends said I was a good sister. I don't think I'm but yea, may be I'm. 

Everything didn't go so smoothly, indeed. Uh, I honestly don't wanna have bad relationships with all my friends, but does asking for help really ruin it? No, maybe I'm not right. I have no idea, I hope no one hates me so far. Elisa, if you're reading this, you must be thankful, okay? Yeap, I'm thankful to have you in my life too:) (Although I ruined people's daysT_T) 

The true love, I see it. God loves me. As you can see, I'm still alive. *peace:P I prayed before going any shops, that's why I'm safe and sound after going these place. Accidents might happen if I was careless while heading to these shops. Not only that, I know that my love for Elisa is genuine, and her love for me so. I know that God's there always with me and her. Erm, pray for my relationships with my friends, please. Praying is the best way to send any of your requests, thanks and also messages. 

There're so many things that no one knows behind so many things. I don't feel like learning to play ukulele with Elisa, nope. I'm preparing myself to go into medical stream, I wanna be a doctor. A doctor who works for God and spreads good news. I wanna work for God. Okay, so yea, I declare, I was irritating my friends not because of myself, maybe a little, but for my dearly and beloved twin sister. 

You may think that I'm not gonna to leave her one day, but I think we're gonna to be separated after college. She might be in the East and I might be in the West, who knows? That might be the reason for me to do so much in a day just for her. Time is short, to the love ones, you must value. 

It's time for me to read the bible. I have been lazy for 2 days, I suppose, haven't touched the bible. Glory to the God, I'm still alive, breathing in front of the computer and typing this post. 

With love,
Emily
27-11-2013

Patiently waiting

It's a very cool morning, the effect after rain. 

There's a girl playing the piano and thinking about something. She doesn't have much to say, but a thousand questions to ask. She's doing the techniques of playing the piano, listening to what she plays, thinking of what she has to do. Most likely, her mind is blank, she doesn't know anything just for that moment. It's just too hard to think and to do.

She scored quite okay in her year end exams. Although she's sufficed, she's stilling trying her very best to learn and study all the subjects. Not to doubt, she's so stressed out throughout the year.

The way that she does work is under enforcement, she wants to be a person who can help lots of lots of people. In fact, she wants to be a doctor who works in Syria.

Whenever she sees her classmates get good results, she only puts on her big and board smile. She has so much to say to herself, she's waiting for God. She knows that God's with her but she's too impatient to do anything, she has to learn.

The holidays don't make her prepare herself but let her waste her precious time. Facebook, Instagram and Games are making her lose her valuable time. Although she hates them, she still logs in and does something that she hates.

She wants to study, to be well prepared, to do work for God. She can't waste her time anymore. No more, the public exams that she'll be sitting next year will be something that sets her life, which way she goes.

She need to be strengthened by God, she needs Him more than anything. 

The struggling in heart

Hey, how's you day? 

I'm not feeling very happy right now. In fact, I feel so struggling:( the decision is really hard to make, I surrender...

Once I promised, I have to do. I know this is right, but the environment or condition is making me doing another thing. I feel so bad, truly bad. 

The debate competition that I just joined was somehow a new thing for me to experience, to learn and to try. I did think that I'd have much fun and hardship but it was true. I endured the uneasy thing, the tough job that I had to do. I sort of thought that I shouldn't have joined it, but still I made up my mind, decided to continue this narrow road. 

The thing is not as easy as how you and I think. My parent doesn't let me join the competition as I won't be speaking in front of people b'cause I'm not around during the competing period. That's bad for me, I know, but I've promised, what should I do?

I consulted my fellowship teacher to teach me how to handle this kind of thing. Whether I should continue or now... He told me to continue and do a testimony, I was totally frustrated and felt so helpless as I knew I'd have to do something that I didn't like to. 

So, yea, I told my teammate that I'd continue, but another thing happened:( My parent, she doesn't let me go. I have 2 feelings in my heart. One is feeling bad as I don't do what I've promised, another one is that I feel pretty glad that I don't have to force myself to do something that I don't like to do.

Pray for me, I need God to strengthen me. I know I'm weak.

Emily

19/11/2013

Random

Hey, guys how are you? 

Recently, I'm starting a program for myself, a learning program of course. It's about how to love people, how to behave and so on. This is sort of my holiday program. 

For your information, I talk to a person online and I'm learning to listen to what people think, feel and all. That's hard for a person like me who likes to talk and speak to listen to people. That's why I have had a program for myself. 

Talking and communicating are something really needed for everyone in the world. There's nothing called alone in anything. We need people to do something together with us, we need more than a person everyday. That's how amazing God creates this world. It's like the Tower of Babel, no one could build it as they couldn't communicate with each other. Wow, see, how important communication is among people. 

Well, I can communicate with people for sure, if not, I wasn't here typing lots of words. Haha, thank God for giving me my today's life. I'm learning to love everyone. That's what I'm doing recently.

Talking to someone online is not something new for me, I've been talking for years. I mean yea, created a Facebook account and started to chat with people are parts of my life. It's also nowadays people's lives, I think.

I don't know what kind of like it is. Maybe not only like, it's love. I don't say I like anyone, but I'm trying my best to love everyone. That's nice, you may think, but no, I'm lost... Erm no, I was lost but not now.

Maybe you don't get what I wrote. Kay, forget about it. The life of having someone in your life is really a big deal. You can't simply live with a person who you think you like, but actually you don't really love. Do you get it?

I may love lots of people, but I believe there's someone or there're somebody I love more. Haha, not being fair to everyone. Yea, that's true. I'm not God. 

Thank God for giving me my family, I feel blessed all the time, they're just amazing! I love them:) I do wanna thank God for letting me know my friends, some of them are truly nice and great. 

This is a random post. 

Emily 

16/11/2013

7 months of my life.

Ahlo, my readers, how do you feel right now?

The title for today's post is 7 months of my life. You must be wondering what it's about for the 7 months. Indeed, it was really an unforgettable-7-month period. 

On the 12th of March 2013, it was my birthday. You may think that I'd be celebrating it and having a day off. But no, nothing like that happened on that particular day. I was told to wake up in the early morning and meet somebody in the school. I can still clearly remember what happened on that day, the day when I started my first step of participating in this wasting-time, uneasy, hard, tough, silly yet fun and educational project. It made a very significant mark in my form 4 life. It sounded crazy. 

The journey of doing each and every part of the project was really killing me. The obstacles like designing T-shirt for the whole day, unwilling-to-do teammates, stressful teachers and mocking form the others were seriously making my year so interesting, yea it was interesting. Uh, my brain cells were killed for these kinds of stupid reason. Oh well... 

The project was called Zero Food Waste project which I had to handle so many unwanted, smelly and disgusting stuff. They made me strong though. The way that I treated my teammates was really bad and mean, I felt so sorry for them. I just couldn't control my anger and my emotion. Glory to the God, I analysed my wrong and started learning to control myself. 

The project ruined my exam results, I feel so sad and disappointed. It took me so long to recover my beautiful result, I'm still recovering, for your information. The friendship of me and my friend was getting so much further, that was how work making everyone have no feelings. It's another sad thing. But, I'm learning to retain this precious relationship, trying my best to love my enemies. I need prayers, I need God to help me throughout these moment. #ieasilygetangry

The thing came to the end yesterday, it was a total of 7 months, I've changed. I cut my hair and changed my style. I started to think more deeply and pray before making any decisions. I've grown older, throughout these days, the days that I won't forget in my life. 

Out of 39 schools, my team won the 1st runner-up. We were awesome although we did quite a lot of cheating here and there. The maths questions that the organiser kept giving, I felt like being scolded everytime. Fine, let the past by past, I don't have to think about it anymore. It'll only be a part of my memory. 

We were the best, FROGGIE TEAM. 

Emily xx

13/11/2013

Follow feelings?

Ahlo, my readers, how are you?

It's a fine Saturday afternoon. I'm sitting in the dining room writing this post. Unexpectedly, a happy me is now having all sorts of feeling. I feel uneasy. 

Many things have been going on since the holidays started, I'm really busy. In fact, I have to be online everyday, I'm tired. Debate competition, closing ceremony and buying stuff for people are stressing me out, I don't get a proper rest mentally and physically. Dealing with people is almost killing my brain cells, EXHAUSTED. 

I'm reading a book THE BEGINNING OF EVERYTHING. I think I'm gonna finish it today. It's talking about the lives of teens of the USA. It does make my brain work. You may ask the reason of me saying this. Well, the book gives me a picture of how nowadays young people behave and how they look at relationships. Their behavior, I can see is quite random, really. They act how they want or feel. I can't see they think before they do anything, neither can I see the maturity in the people. They're just like children. Yea, I'm saying people who think they're mature are actually childish. 

Following the feeling is what most of us always do. For instance, many of us just wanna feel good and don't wanna do something that's eternal which is really worthy.We don't seem to have aims sometimes like playing games for the whole day or talking crap for the whole night with friends. I'm not trying to tell you that what I just mentioned are something that you can't do, but the fact is that what the point of you doing that. I can't see any good in doing this though.

Indeed, I'm studying something today, which is I call it - The humanity of feeling. Haha, it sounds weird, doesn't it? People always do what the feel not what God wants us to do. We tend to enjoy everything that is under the sun and try to forget the presence of God. Sadly, I think I'm in this group. I wanna get out I say to myself. 

The ignorance from people is really breaking heart, you know? People ignore just as they don't feel good or in bad mood. I can stand with it, honestly. I'm learning to love these people who actually do according to their feeling I think. Or maybe people ignore me just because of my attitude, I guess. Well, this leads me to the phone thing. I don't own a phone, it sounds like a scar of mine, doesn't it? However, I'd like to let the whole world know it, I wanna relieve from this thing which makes me so unreal and a liar, I feel like. Well, I wanna be true and have testimonies. 

Another thing that I wanna say is the way you treat people. I don't score an A for this which I'm supposed to. I feel like I shouldn't have written something for somebody who I think would probably ignore me. That's bad, huh? Yea, it's. But when I think, I really get the point of why people act this way. It's seemingly the humanity of human. They don't really think of the people who they ignore but themselves. I feel ignored indeed but I don't hate the people. I'm trying my best to love them as I know if I don't start to love them, they're not going to feel any loves.

Well, I had my fridge cut yesterday and now it looks horrible and terrible. I can't accept it although I seem to have accepted it. Okay, I don't think there'll be people looking at me. That's how I cheat myself, the truth is THERE ARE ALWAYS PEOPLE I DON'T KNOW WHO LOOKING AT YOU AND JUDGING YOU THROUGH YOUR APPEARANCE. Well, I'm making them sin, indirectly. Can I say this? Uh, sigh.

No matter how I look I'm just prefect as I'm. Thanks to my friend who motivates me to accept my really weird fridge. Uh, I don't actually look people at how they dress themselves but now I'm looking at myself that way. I don't think that's what I'd do as a child of God. What on earth makes me do this kind of stupid thing, I don't know. Go away, satan, I hate you forever and ever. 

I know people who truly love me will probably accept me no matter how I look. For example, my parents. I don't think they do think that Emily looks nice in her new hairstyle but they still tell me that I look nice. I wonder if they make comments without me knowing. Anyway, I'm fine. 

Tomorrow is Sunday and I got to know the news of me being in the committee group of the fellowship. Caring, I'm in-charged of that, I love it. God really knows what is good and suits me. 

Feelings, you steer it or it steers you? I have no idea for you but I'm pretty sure that I have to think logically before making any decisions. Indeed, I have to pray before thinking, of course that is the best way. Alright, I'd say bye to you. Stay tuned to my next post, I don't know what it'll be but I know you'll love it. 

Emily
09-11-2013

I win

Heyo, how's your day? I suppose, you're doing well. 

Now, let me update my current living. It's been more than a week of holidays, I feel great, indeed. Well, you might have thought that I'm supposed to be in a really, extraordinary good mood. Honestly, I'm as busy as a bee, going here and there. Yea, it's non-stop. 

God's always with us. That's what we always say, isn't it? However, how many of us do really feel it? I don't think many of us, though. Human beings are weak and impossible for all the time. In fact, we need God who guides us, finds us and also loves us. I think, most of the people all around the world don't actually think that the 'God' that we (Christians) keep talking about is the only and heavenly God. People are still hesitating when they're given the most precious gift in the world, whether they should take it or not. That's how sad, you know? It's like a tragedy for people who don't accept God as their personal savior. 

Yesterday, I went to watch movie with my sister, brother and English tuition teacher. So, the movie that we watched was called GRAVITY. It somehow scare my little brother, Eric. His review for the movie was THE MOVIE IS REALLY SCARY. Oh yea, he's only a 11 year old boy who's still learning to be a good person, building foundations in every aspect. Therefore, you might ask for the reason of him being so afraid after watching the movie. I did ask him, but he didn't give me his answer. Well, I guess he may be thinking that death is something scary like how his teacher scolds him for 100 times. That's normal for children to think that way, right? 

I don't know what age you're in, but I'd like to ask you if you're afraid of death. I don't have any ideas if you're or not. Truthfully, I can tell you, I'm NOT afraid of it. I'm found and I'm living a holy life which God is living inside me, and I'm living inside God. I deserve this privilege as Jesus died for me and of curse for you too. You might think that you'll be a loser when dealing with death, but I tell you, sincerely, in Christ, you're already a winner. Due to the blood of Jesus which washes our sins away, we've won over the world, death and sins. There's only a key for you to win, that's FAITH. 

Believing in God is such a great, wonderful, awesome and cool thing, you know? That's we get to feel the love form God. He's done so much, no, is done all of things for us. He makes you have today, he makes you have your life, your time, your family, your job, your books and your dog, maybe. He's so great, isn't he? Maybe today, you feel truly unhappy due to something like your friend just passed away and you absolutely regret that you didn't do much for that person. That's how you feel, right? Grief. I feel so sad for you too, but don't face the problem yourself, go and seek for God. He's the one who made you and who you do need when you feel bad or happy. You can pray for the bad things, I suggest, surrender these things which are under the sun to Him. I told my mum and sister that everything that's under the sun is really easy and simple. You must be wondering now... 

Things are not as difficult as how you think, that's what you have to understand. What thing can be scarier than death? I bet no one will say anything. If you have already opened the door of your heart for Jesus to live in, you shouldn't be afraid of death, b'cause you're more than that, your the winner, remember? So now, why do you feel sad for your friend's death or you're now having problems? Okay, for further explanation of your friend's death, I don't think you should be worrying about it, if that person had accepted Jesus as his or her personal savior. You know why, he or she might have gone home, yea, HOME. The home that God's prepared for us.

Accepting Christ is neither a hard nor an easy action. The acceptance doesn't mean that you don't have to do anything in this world. As you have accepted, you'd now do your work. Alright, you might be thinking of you working like a zombie or like someone else who doesn't enjoy his or her life. Haha, you're wrong! The work that you have to do is so much fun and joy. Serving the people, serving the Lord is truly enjoyable. You can feel the true love that you've got and how you spread it to people around you. I'm learning to do that, like what I always say, IT'S HARD BUT NOT IMPOSSIBLE. 

God's there offering the gift for you, you believe and you're saved. You're saved, then you bring more people who still have sins to be washed and be clean. Yay, that's nice, isn't it? 

Before I end my writing, I'd like to tell you not to be afraid anymore, believe and you'll get to know the way, the truth and the life. 

GOD IS LOVE. WHOEVER LIVES IN LOVE LIVES IN GOD AND GOD IN HIM.

(1 John 4:16b)

With love,
Emily
07-11-2013

Relationship

Hello, my readers, my topic for this 'cloud' is the relationship. I'm now sitting in the bus going to go to Putrajaya with my friends. So, I'm sitting alone writing this piece of words.

What am I going to tell you today? Well, I just deactivated my Facebook account this morning, I totally wanna surrender myself to God, I don't wanna waste my precious time on Facebook anymore. You know, I felt sad sometimes when I was online b'cause I had to face lots of problems and people. Enough! I'm fed up of the problems that I looked for myself. That's such an annoying stuff, isn't it? 

Talking about relationship, some of us especially the young ones don't really know how to build a good relationship with the others, including me, myself. To have a good relationship with everyone, we'd have good relationship with God. So how to have good relationship with our almighty God? 

Reading the bible, praying to Him and meditation are probably the ways. However, most of the Christians do these things for the sake of being a 'real' Christian. To be honest, I'm like one of them. Oh, well... 

I think, the most and the foremost important or vital thing to have good relationships is to love people, to love God. You might think it's easy to be done, mightn't you? But, honestly it's hard to love anyone, b'cause we're in our body which we're used to have sins. 

Then, how? I think we'd always have a loving heart which is prepared or equipped to love people around us. We have to try our very best to be patient while talking or communicating with people so that we can understand their words as well as their hearts. I'm quite failed for this, I feel...

Deactivating Facebook is sort of a way to break the bonds between the relationships between me and my friends. Well, I think it's not really called breaking bonds. It's a way to make the friendships more real, more appreciative. Many of us don't talk when facing with friends though we talk a lot on Facebook. That's the funniest joke in the world right now. Haha

I seriously like to talk. I'm a noisy and annoying person. I talk amazingly a lot, a lot. People get annoyed and irritated sometimes haha. Alright.. Erm, I chatted with someone who I don't talk with in the reality. I don't think the relationship is real. You know, it's so abstract, I can't imagine much. So, I truly love people around me and I wish they'd be true in a way that they talk to me in reality. 

That's all I think, I'd spend my time talking to my friends now. Haha, you can still email me if you wanna communicate with me. I feel happy, absolutely happy today! Bye:)

Emily

2/11/2013

Truth

Jesus is the way, truth and life. 

Today, I'm gonna to share about truth. Before that, what do you know about truth? 

I'm here to tell you that truth is righteous. Amen? Now, I'm confessing myself, to my readers.

The first fact is, I don't own a phone. Haha, how can it be? Why don't you parents let you have one? Or, Don't you have money? Are you poor? OhMyGosh, why are you so old-fashioned? You may ask all these questions, mayn't you? Well, I'd like to say that I don't have one as I don't think I deserve one. I do want one but I feel like wasting money and time. I think, it's not the right time for me to have something that's so expensive or so high-tech. I'm being so old, right? However, sometimes I need it, I mean I really need it to contact my friends so as to do my work. Uh, life is not all about myself, there're the others who're living around you. The most important thing is that I have to build a good relationship with each and everyone of them. In this world, how can I not to have phone but to talk with them? I feel helpless... Okay, that's not a big deal. I'm still alive without a phone, a mobile phone. That's quite great, isn't it? Although I don't like to tell my friends that I don't have one, my life is still as amazing as God's plan. I'm sufficed though. There's someone who was talking with me via my mum's phone. I like talking, to be honest, haha. So you might think I'd have told the person that I haven't even owned a phone. But I haven't:( I feel sad sometimes, I feel like being a hypocrite, sad... 

Honestly, I'm a busy-body who always makes people's lives hard. Sorry to those who I've hurt, really sorry. I don't wish to have gossiped things about you,  but I did it. I'm currently changing myself to be a person who's favourited by God. I'll try my very best not to say anything about you, kay? Don't be angry. Another thing is that I'm easily get jealous. This means I'm not sufficed with what God's given to me. Always, due to jealousy, I hate people. That's very bad, you know. As a Christian, my responsibility is to love people but I don't do my job. *Feeling failed:O Well, I believe God still gives me chances to correct myself by reading his words and to change myself, to love people. I'm learning, are you?

The next thing is I'm very old but naive. Haha, I dress to be very old man, yea man. People might not like me, I guess. I'm not being like a person who I'd be. Well, those who don't like me because of my appearance, I think you're too realistic. Don't ever judge anyone, kay? I'm telling myself-.- Actually, I have a thought of making myself a very fashionable person but I can't make it b'cause I'm that real, I'm really old... There're still somebody who like me in a way that he or she truly loves me b'cause of my personality. Oh yea, I'm looking for people like that. It doesn't mean I ignore people who don't like me, who judge me. I mean I'm trying my best to love as when I feel bad, I pray to God so as to behave well or to love people who make me feel bad. 

There're still something I have to confess but my brain is now shutting down and I'm gonna to have my dinner which is cooked by my 2nd sis. I'm truly blessed and thankful. Pray before I eat, haha.

With love, 

Emily

1/11/2013