Motivated

Let's see. 

Besides studying, writing essays, what I've done during the holidays are instagraming, facebooking, talking, eating, exercising, playing the piano and blogging. Yesterday, I read Bernice's blog, her posts inspired me so much. She mightn't know I read it, anyway, thank God for her in my life though I just know her only for 1 year, I guess. She mentioned that Chemistry paper was hard. I was thinking what if she was me right now and gonna sit for SPM for the 2nd time. Would she be more hardworking? This question sort of motivated me in a way that I'd work extremely hard to get good results in SPM. I'm sure I can do it as with God, nothing is impossible. Yeah, after I've read her posts, I studied a little Chemistry and I did my 4th essay last night. Kinda motivated, isn't it? 

I just read Chia Yee's blog, she mentioned me. It was about how Kit Yog and me made her annoyed. Okay, sorry Chia Yee. But you actually made me think of something about myself. I'm asking myself 'Why on earth I didn't dare to talk to Kit Yong?'. I find this question interesting, well, let me figure it out. 

Today's schedule is gonna be busy and hectic. Malay tuition for 3 and a half hours, then piano class for 1 and a half hour and English tuition for about 1 hour. I've never tried having all my outside classes in a day. I'll be tired, I guess. Uh, never mind, I'd deal with it. Perhaps, rest now? Well, to go for these 3 classes, I did quite a lot of things during this holidays. In fact, I wrote 3 essays in a day! My brain didn't go coma, thank God! And I kept practising playing the piano when I didn't feel like studying. I wanna make full use of my time, not to waste it like how I waste my dad's money. #LOL

Yeah, I'm very motivated and inspired. I think every thing under the sun is quite easy. Just only that you must have faith and you put in your max effort while doing it. I believe I can. 

I'm so confident in myself? Nope, not really, I just think that nothing is greater than God. For He's the creator, I'm the creation, he probably guides me in anyway. I'm a happy person b'cause of love. The love from my Father God, and the love I give to people!:) 

Now, I wanna do some studying for Chemistry. I think I'm falling in love with it. I can't believe it, seriously. Anyway, the only fact is that I really love studying! I'm not insane, I just love. You know, love. 

I have mission or task to bring people to Christ. I must do it! Spreading the seed, watering it and maybe crop it? I'm looking forward to it. 

Emily

28/03/2014

Today, my mind

Wednesday, there're about 4 more days to school reopen day.

I've been kinda stressed out since the holidays started. Suffocating. Nauseous. I have tonnes of work to do, eg, 4 essays to write (just did 1, left 3 now), 4 chapters of maths to do, some form 4 chemistry to revise, about 2 chapters of history to memorise, a little physics to understand and 2 pieces plus some scales to practice. I have to do some reading for English and Chinese before the holidays end. My life is hectic! Uh, I can't help myself, I'm sort of a person who needs lots of pressure to do things well. The stress of dealing with books is okay to me so far, I can still enjoy my life taking photos though.

I don't take good photos, maybe I do. Well, I consider myself an amateur who just simply controls the light exposure and colours and stuff. I've been trying my best to let the beauty of things being shown in photos but things always go the other way of what I think. Seriously, I seldom take food photos. It's such a shame:( 

I strongly believe that God's given me something great. In fact, my photography department boss, Cat is one of the people whom is placed by God that appears in my life. She's good, patient and straight (not beating around the bush at all, I like it). She's definitely real, not like someone who's fake. Uh, sad... Oh well, erm, yeah, Chia Yee is also another good person. She's my heroine who asked me not to be afraid because she was there last night. Wow, she's cool, isn't she? #LOL

I'm kinda grateful that I have met so many amazing creatures that created by God in my life. They're wonderful! I don't actually know what to do for them. Yeah, what I do is praying. It's the best way I guess to pray for 12 people who sit near to me daily. I hope God's and my love can be spread to them, it's far more wonderful!:) 

I have a feeling of can't wait for school to reopen. I have no idea why I like school nowadays. This makes me think of how I was in form 1. Well, I have no mood to talk about it now. Maybe next time I'll blog about it.

Emily

26/03/2014

No title

Today's great. 

I woke up at about 6:30 in the morning and continued to do my English essay. It was about online dating which I think it's not a very good way for people to choose their life partners. Anyway this is not a big deal. Well, then I went for jogging with mum and Elisa. My twin sister and I jogged for 6 rounds non-stop. Incredible, huh? Yeah, then we had morning breakfast at Subway. 

We talked about stuff like how my mum lived last time. It was cool to know how my mum thought about marriage. Okay, after I got back, I helped my mum to fold clothes. I don't like to do house chores though. Then, I directly went to sleep. 

I just got up from my nap, finished 'lunch' and a big apple. I needa work now, Biology here I come. 

For your information, I have planed my holidays with lots of studying programmes which are not stressful but relaxing. Uh, I needa be hardworking now. See you, bye!

Emily

24/03/2014

Go?

It's a long way for me to go. 

The way to Uni, the way to live my own life. Too much thing for me, but I know that God'll always be with me. My life is on His hands, I shan't have the feeling of worry, that's too unnecessary. 

The people I love, I'll continue pray for you every day. I say, Love is definitely unconditional. If your love is not unconditional, then it's not love anymore. Do you agree? 

The time I said I didn't know what feeling I have actually because I found that I didn't like, but I was sure I loved and love. 

Things don't follow what I want it to be. It's b'cause God's the one who control everything. I strongly believe that He has his own great plan on me, I only have to obey it:) That's why my life is easy that I just choose to follow Jesus and problems solved! 

I won't do any stupid things anymore. I'm not smart, and I'm not interlligent either. I know that with God, I don't have to be the best as I'm already the best. Get it?

Let jealousy go, let loliness fly, let hatred disappear. I'll open my hands and let low to come in my heart, your hearts and our hearts!:) 

If you have any prayer requests, why not tell me, I'll pray for you. Why me? Because I love you, yeah, you, who're reading my blog!

Struggling

There're 2 ways for me to go, either here or there. 

Recently, I just finished my monthly test and holidays start today. This means I'm on my way to next semester and there're about 8 months more until SPM. Seriously, I wanna do it well. 

The struggling that I have is about how I think and how I feel. They're always not the same, I think. Head or heart? I'm the kind of person who always chooses heart instead of head. Maybe that's why I do wrong decisions so many times. I don't know why, it must be God's planning.

Well, I love everyone, including those bad ones. Sometimes they just wanna be your friends because of some 'evil' reasons, uh, I'm not sure. Or maybe sometimes the just wanna cheat you so that they'll feel happy or something? Or they just wanna be your friends, that's all. So, I don't know what my friends want from me, but I think they love me as well, like how I love them. 

Every time, when I deal with people and work, I'll always consider people first (See, I'm following my heart, my feeling). At once, I was shy to give people to do work because I was afraid they wouldn't like me after that. I did feel bad if I gave them work, I felt as in I gave a big trouble to them. However, I was sure that I couldn't finish work all by myself. Everyone needs help, I guarantee. So where I should have chosen? To give or not to give? 

Well, I gave them work, indeed. Things don't happen like what you want, always. Okay, so the impact of giving work to people was I felt bad. BAD. 

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Currently, I don't have this kind of problems because I'm not working with people for the whole year. I'm free, I have my own life. The feeling of bad has probably gone, and I'm now happy. I have more time to study my books, I love learning. I love studying. Yay. Well, but I definitely feel nothing when I don't have friends to talk to or what. Yeah, Elisa is my partner but she's not the same, more specifically, she's my twin sister, not my friend actually. I admit that I don't have a 'the best-est best friend'. I kept all my secrets and stuff by my own self. Up to this point, I'm sure that God's the one who is the closest to me. 

People, they're different. I have tried my very best to smile to everyone as it is kind of my way to spread the love. I know they I can actually make a person's day by smiling at them and saying a 'Hi' to them. But well, I think I've been a little unhappy (no, I don't think so...) and forget to smile at people. No. Yes. No. Uh, I'm lost. 

I just wanna control my feeling. I just wanna love people, not to like anyone at the moment. You get what I mean? Maybe you don't, only I know. But I think, I've found a great solution which is PRAYING to God, let the BURDENS and WORRIES go. It's the best way I tell you:)

Till I write again. Don't question me. Thanks:)
Emily
22/03/2014

Thoughts

Recently, I'm addicted to a song, Canon. It's a really nice song and I keep playing it over and over again.

Things don't go what I suppose it to. Well, everything is like that way, isn't it? That's why life is so interesting. I have not much to say here though, stressed out for so many things, yeah, you know, student's life is always that way, who can help? 

Anyway, I'm still a cheerful person, honestly. I don't worry a lot. Maybe that's one of the reasons that no one trusts me. Oh well...

I'm so random. I easily trust people. You can see that I easily get hurt, well, hurt, physically. I've thought through all the whys and huhs, I trust everything, including the floor that I step. Even though there's an edge or something, I will not actually be as careful as others as you know, I don't think I'll get hurt. However, I get hurt always. I've trusted so many people, so don't cheat me, kay? 

I try my very best to love everyone around me. Why? Because God loves me and I love Him. You know, love is the reason of everything. 

I'll work very hard this year, starting from this coming holidays. I wanna cage myself. I wanna go offline everyday and enjoy my real life. I do enjoy my life with books and camera. A student life is not boring, seriously. 

The first test that I sat for this year was great, I suppose. It was a monthly test and I did it pretty well except for Malay. So far, I only got 9 out of 10 test papers back. I got like 4A+, 3A, 1A- and 1C (For Malay).Yea, I got 100 for Moral studies. Haha, I've wanted to get 100 for so long. Glory to the Lord. I prayed before I did any papers. God really listened to my prayers. So, PRAY and have FAITH. 

Till I blog again.